The Great Wall of Carmen

I've hit that point in the quarter folks. I've been working so how to get over my fears and boost my confidence level in regards to my art work. And yes, I've made a great deal of progress but I've hit a wall where I feel like I can't do anything; homework, classes, professor interactions...it's all gone. This happens a lot, and each quarter a begin with excitement and drive. This quarter was no different. But the more I unlock that explains why I am the way I am, the more difficult life becomes. Pandora's box anyone? And I can see much if not all of what I do to myself and that I am the only person in my way, but I don't know how to push forward. I feel like my sense of self is at stake from both angles in the case; to change or not to change...and how? And so far, 6 people have told me, "Let go" and "Confidence, all you need is confidence." Which, on the one hand, feels good because they know I'm close to really excelling at what I do. On the other hand, it hurts because those phrases seem so easy but in practice are terribly difficult to take and master. Meanwhile, I keep battling illness and have projects due. The last one being the one to put me over the edge: storyboard animatic. I was told in my 2D Design class, many years ago, by both my peers as well as my professor that I couldn't compose my drawings and so now I believe I can't and absolutely freeze when it comes to these projects. Storyboarding class was miserable for this reason. I'm the same way when it comes to 3D. Only in that case, I am the one who tells myself, "I can't", and then I really can't. Though, I did try very hard and am proud as hell of the 'C' I received in that class. But of course, there's also the added stress of needing a certain GPA to graduate...I don't know, I'm just out of it. I don't know what writing this will do, if anything...but I feel it must be said. In the meantime, I keep trying.